Raising a Bilingual Child: Constant Questioning

Raising a Bilingual Child

Teaching Tip: Constant Questioning

I learned a lot working as a kindergarten teacher for five years. I closely observed my students and I watched their parents carefully as well. I asked students about their interactions with their parents. Do they read stories to you? Do you sit together as a family and eat meals together? When you get home from school do you mostly watch television or play with your parents? When your parents take you to the park, do they play with you or sit and watch you?

I learned a lot about what to do as a parent and most importantly, what not to do!

Simply put, many parents don’t talk to their children. They may bark commands at them from time to time or even talk to them as if they were babies, but many don’t engage them.

At one school I worked at, teachers would take their classes to a large public park each morning and play at a playground. I often saw parents who would take their child there, let the child play by themselves while he/she just sat on a bench with a coffee and stared at their smart phone. Other times, a group of mothers would take their children to the park and then ignore them. They saw it as “social time for Mommy” as opposed to playtime and learning time for their child.

On a Summer insect hunt with my son.

All parents are guilty of letting their kids watch a little too much television (especially when you’re trying to cook dinner or clean the house). I’m guilty of that as well. I also find myself at time not engaging my kids as much as I probably should. Luckily, I tend to “snap out of it” and realize that I need to interact more.

Constantly questioning your child is a great way to engage them. Constantly asking them a mixture of closed and open-ended questions about what they are doing and the world around them helps them develop critical thinking skills as well as their language.

When I go for a walk with my son I often find myself asking him a wide variety of questions about everything around us.

Here’s an example:

Me: “Hey Kai, what’s that? (pointing to a leaf on he ground).

My son: “It’s a leaf.”

Me: “What color is it?”

My son: “It’s brown.”

Me: “Why is it brown?”

My son: “It’s dirty.”

Me: “No. It’s brown because it’s old and dry. Why is it on the sidewalk?”

My son: “Cause the tree is broken and the leaf jumped.”

Me: “Ha ha! The leaf didn’t jump off the tree. It fell off. Can you say, ‘It fell off the tree’?”

My son: “It fell of the tree.”

In that exchange I asked him a variety of questions. I also corrected his logic and language when he said the leaf jumped off the tree. Of course, I always correct him in a nice way. Correcting children’s grammar and vocabulary usage is something some parents don’t do enough of. That can definitely lead to fossilization of speaking errors (that’s for another post).

So, remember, if you’re a parent of kids who are in the developmental stages of language acquisition, question them a lot. If you are a teacher, do the same. Even if children are older and their language is developed, by constantly questioning them, you are encouraging them to think and always acting as a teacher.

That’s a good thing!

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

Constantly Talking: a teaching tool

One piece of advice I give to new teachers, especially ones teaching second language learners is to constantly speak to them and ask them questions. This of course gives them more opportunities to hear English as well think in the language and speak it.

Practice, practice, practice! 

The more you practice anything, the better you will become. Learning a language is no different.

This of course carries over to parenting and raising a child to speak more than one language. I suppose it will even help a child who is learning only one language.

When my son was an infant, I read in a book about raising children that I should have a constant running dialogue when I am with them. Even when he was too young to speak or communicate in any way, aside from crying, I should speak. At bath time, the running dialogue might sound something like, “Now I’m going to wash your arms. I’m cleaning your arms with soap. Isn’t the water nice and warm? Now I’m rinsing the soap off your arms. Does that feel nice?”

It completely makes sense why this would be good for your child. While they are with you they hear your voice and are surrounded by the language they will someday speak. It’s another form of mental stimulation. Sounds straightforward and easy, but I often find this type of running dialogue difficult to maintain. I suppose it is a little mentally taxing for me and sometimes I simply forgot to do it.

When my son was younger and even now I find myself zoning out when I am doing something that required concentration such as giving him a bath. When I would zone out, I would stop speaking.

Today I went for a walk with my son and spoke to him the entire time. I asked him questions about the vehicles we saw as well as the plants and flowers we walked past. “Is that a white or a blue car? Look at the ambulance. Is it loud? Did you see all of the pink flowers on the tree? Do you want to go to the supermarket? What kind of juice do you want?”

I realize that English is my son’s second language and I need to pick up my game and start exposing him to more of it.

I have to admit that while I need to pick up my game as a teacher at home, my wife has been doing a fantastic job all along. She has that constant dialogue with my son and speaks to him in both Japanese and English.

Another thing we have been doing all along, but more now that our son is speaking a lot is discussing his “linguistic future.” We spend a great deal of time talking about how we can work together to make sure his English skills are strong. We have been discussing what type of schools he should attend. We have also been discussing how we will teach him to read and write English if he attends a Japanese school.

Luckily I’m not stressed about that since I have been teaching of many years and have spent the last 5 years teaching young children phonics and writing.

Interesting times!

More updates and ideas to come.

You can follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

Parents...Help a Teacher Out!

Soft parents aren’t doing their children any favors. That is something I feel very strong about. I realize that there is now a growing movement of parents out there in Canada, America, Japan, etc., who no longer feel it is right to harshly or even mildly set boundaries for or discipline their children. I realize that parents who feel their children should be free to develop any way they want and explore the world as they, the children, see fit, but I think that’s not the best approach.

That is my opinion and I’m sticking to it.  That is my opinion and I am passionate about it.

As someone who has been teaching for more than eleven years and a homeroom teacher for five of those years, I really wish parents would help me out. I wish they would help me out as a teacher. I wish parents around the world would help all teachers out. Throw us a bone! Give us a break. How? By instilling some amount of discipline in your child. I am not suggesting being authoritarian or cruel. I am not asking you to emulate a Marine drill sergeant, but please teach your children what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. Please teach your children that there are boundaries in the world and often, if we push those boundaries, there may be consequences. Please teach your kids simple things like table manners, how to share with others and say, “thank you.”

You may think I sound silly asking parents to teach such basic rules of living to their little ones, but so many are not in 2012. I see children every day who have no idea even how to be polite or have no clue that there are such things as boundaries.

I can really only speak for things here in Japan, but am told by many that the situation is similar back in my home country of Canada.

Things seem to start at a very young age, parents simply letting their kids have the run of the show. They love their little kings and queens and feel they are harming them or denying them what they deserve if they say, “No.” Little kids running amuck while parents stand back watching them sheepishly or not at all.

A school I worked at would organize family field trips twice a year. Parents would bring their children and teachers would escort them and lead various activities. I would always warn new teachers to be extra vigilant. Although parents were directly told many times that they were, not teachers, responsible for watching their own children, many if not most didn’t. It became a social outing for them and many of the mothers would just gather around, chat, giggle and not watch their kids. Teachers had to work over time chasing around kids and shocked to have a peek into the world of “non discipline” their students were used to.

Even now, as a teacher and a parent, I am so stunned, but at the same time cynically accepting when I see groups of mothers standing around chatting at a playground or on their smart phones as their children run around wildly, playing behind or under parked cars and hurting other children unchecked.

Being soft doesn’t work folks. When you allow your kids to do whatever it is they want, you are sending them all the wrong messages. You are instilling them with a sense of false entitlement. Many kids who were spoiled in an environment with no discipline tend to become those students teachers find all too painful too teach; kids who come to school having no concept of rules. Kids who feel they should get whatever they want, whenever they want it.

I suppose they will grow up to be the sort of people who feel they are entitled to starting salaries of $70, 000 a year walking out of university. That’s not a good thing.

This is a rather ranty post, but that’s ok. I feel strong about the topic and it irks me on a daily basis when I watch people not watch their kids out on the playground. It irks me when I see parents allow their kids to run through a restaurant wildly and say nothing while other diners are being bothered. I get irked when I meet parents who have never taught their children basic life skills and then turn around and get angry with teachers because their child is behind others.

People, get it together, in the long run, your kids will be stronger for it and be more successful as students and young people.

I’m not suggesting being a “hard ass” or whacking your kids around. Too much discipline and too many rules can often be just as detrimental as none at all. I suppose that can at times even be worse.

Parents, be firm with your kids. You are the adults, the caregivers and ultimately the bosses of the relationship. You have a big responsibility. Your job is to get your little one ready for the real world once they leave the nest. Teaching your kids how the real world really works, in a kind and thoughtful way is a good thing. Teaching them that they are the kings and queens of the world, maybe not such a great thing.

My message to folks out there, and you may disagree (but that’s ok cause this is my platform), is to simply do a few things:

 1. Teach your children to respect adults.

2. Teach your kids to respect teachers.

3. Respect teachers yourself (they know more about children than you do).

4. Teach your kids rules and set consequences if they break those rules.     

5. Stick to number 4.

6. Teach your children to share.

7. Teach your children to work hard.

8. Watch your children and keep them safe.

9. Take the advice of teachers. They aren’t attacking you or your child when they address issues. They want to help you and your child.

10. Love your kids.

You can follow my other rants on Twitter: @jlandkev