Raising a Bilingual Child: Only Speaking English to my Children

Teaching Tips: ONLY Speaking English to my Children

Some of you out there may find yourself in a situation similar to the one I’ll talk about today. You may be in a different country and the language in question may not be English, but your situation may be similar.

I am in Japan. I have two very young children and a Japanese wife. We want our children to be completely and effortlessly bilingual. I work during the day and my wife stays home raising our kids. She takes them out everyday to play with their friends in the playground and they are very active in other ways. They go to the local community center, kindergarten and day care for various classes throughout the week. My son even takes swimming lessons. All of these are done in Japanese of course. We are in Japan after all. This means the majority of my kids’ days are spent immersed in the Japanese language.

My wife works hard to add some English throughout the day. She speaks to them at times in English and they watch DVDs of children’s programs from America, Australia and Canada. When I come home from work in the evening and on weekends that is really their chance to learn English. That is their opportunity to interact with a native English speaker using natural English. Time for them to play with their Daddy!

In a way, my poor Japanese skills have worked to an advantage for both my kids and me as I try to teach them English. At three years of age, my son already knows that English is his father’s language and Japanese is his mother’s.  Since I don’t speak Japanese (trying to remedy that at the moment), I must communicate with him in English and vice versa. Within our household it is a win/win situation.

Now, even if I could speak Japanese fluently I wouldn’t use it in front of my son during our day-to-day interactions. If I did, I would be robbing him of his chance to hear and utilize the Native English speaker living under his own roof. I would be taking away his teacher.

We live in Japan and every time my children head out the door Japanese surrounds them. They practice the language constantly and it is of course their first language. They don’t need me to speak it to them. Understanding Japanese does of course help me though. Often, my son may not know how to express himself in English. He asks me a question or makes a statement in Japanese. If I understand what he is saying, I can model the language for him in English. He speaks to me in Japanese; I repeat what he just said in English and then make him repeat it. The “modeling” style of language teaching works extremely well and the more Japanese I understand, the better I will be at using this method.

My wife has told me that some Japanese women she has met who are married to foreign men such as myself worry when their husbands only speak Japanese to their kids. Pre-school to early elementary school is what is known as the critical phase of language acquisition. That's the time when a child can learn a new language with no accent and sound like a native speaker (or at least close to it).  One mother shared her worries with my wife. She said that her kindergarten-aged children could only speak Japanese and was stressed because when they travel to America to meet her husband’s family, the kids would not have the ability to communicate. 

That’s something I think about often. I live far away from my family in Canada and someday I plan to return there with my family. For whatever reason, even if we stayed in Japan, half of my son’s family (and the majority of relatives) are Canadian and don’t speak Japanese. When we visit Canada and spend time with them, how will he be able to communicate with his grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles? He simply wouldn’t be able to. He’s be missing out on so much.

I suppose, another thing I would worry about, if I spoke Japanese to my son would be teaching him my bad pronunciation and broken grammar.

At the end of the day, whether my family moves to Canada or stays in Japan, my children will have wonderful advantages if they are able to communicate flawlessly in two languages. By using only English when I am with them, I am giving them the chance to always be with a teacher. I just have to remember to always be encouraging, make them comfortable to speak English and correct (in a caring way) the mistakes they make.

You can follow me on TWITTER: @jlandkev

Raising a Bilingual Child: Code Switching

Code Switching  - Up close and personal

I have to admit that watching my son’s language development is absolutely amazing. I grew up in “one language” household. My family used English. Now, my family in Japan uses both English in the house and outside as well.

My son is now a newly minted 3 year-old. As I’ve mentioned before, his first language is Japanese and his second language is English.  His speaking skills are quite high and it is clear that he can communicate much more fluently in Japanese, but what I have noticed recently is the dramatic increase in his code-switching skills.

In linguistics, code switching is switching between two or more language varieties, in the context of a single conversation.

When my son was only one year old he started conversing in both English and Japanese with family and friends. At that point he didn’t realize that there was a difference between the two languages he was learning. He would speak to his little friends in a mixture of English and Japanese and they would just look at him blankly. Their Japanese skills were also just emerging, but of course, they didn’t understand any English. Not long after he was two years old, a switch in his brain was flipped and he realized that when he was at the local kindergarten, community center or playground with his friends and their mothers, he should only speak Japanese. 

The most basic and obvious examples of code switching with my son are in the home when he interacts with his mother, who is Japanese and myself. When I come home from wok in the evening, he runs down the hall yelling “Hello Daddy” and then he commences to tell me about his day’s adventures in English. When I respond to him in English, he runs back down the hall and tells my wife what I just said, but in Japanese.

At the dinner table he sits at the end and we sit on either side of him. The majority of his day is spent “living in Japanese” so when I come home my wife and I speak English to each other and to my son (and now daughter). We haven’t set an “English Only” rule in our house that some other people do. We just tend to use English because my Japanese skills are not strong. Also, even though I am currently learning Japanese, I choose not to use it around my son since his only daily opportunities to hear natural English are with me.

Our normal dinner experiences are in English. At times though, my son will tell me a story in English and then immediately turn to his mother and repeat the story in Japanese. Other times, he will share it with her in English.

Watching his code switching skills evolve is a constant and wonderful process.

You can follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

Learning Japanese and English at the same time

Late last year and earlier this year I began writing about raising my son to be a bilingual child. His first language, Japanese, was progressing quickly and his English was coming along as well.

Fast forward ahead to April 2013 and my son is now 2 years 8 months old. Naturally, both languages have been progressing rapidly and his ability to communicate with others and express himself has grown by leaps and bounds. He can speak to his mother and Japanese adults/children in full, yet simple sentences. He is also able to understand most of what he hears.

Having entered the world of the Terrible Two's so his favorite phrases in both Japanese and English are, "I don't want to" and "I can't."

In English, his basic vocabulary continues to grow quickly. His language bank of nouns, verbs and adjectives is expanding, but he can struggle when it comes to putting them together. Sometimes his storytelling sessions are very easy to understand while at other times it's more of a challenge for me to fully comprehend.

I think one of the most interesting recent aspects of his language development has been his language switching. He now seems to have made the distinction in his mind that he speaks Japanese to Mommy (who is Japanese) and English to Daddy (moi...a Canadian dude). My wife often speaks English to him and even a few months ago he would reply to her in English, but now he won't. He only speaks to my wife in Japanese no matter what language she uses with him. On top of that, he even seems somewhat annoyed when she does speak to him in English. I'm assuming that people out there in a similar family makeup have had similar experiences.

We're continuing to give him the opportunity to watch lots of English TV and movies which have helped. He definitely learns from watching Cars, Toy Story (1,2 and 3), Finding Nemo and others and it's obviously helping his listening skills as well.

His English progress may start to slow over the next two months though. He will be attending Japanese day care leading up to the time my wife has our second child and for about a month afterwards. That coupled with my longer working/commuting hours with my new job means he'll be exposed to almost no English on a daily basis until June.

I'm sure he'll be fine, but I have to admit that I'm somewhat stressed about his upcoming "lack of English."

I'll let you know how things go in upcoming posts.

Flash cards with a 2 year old

Today my son turns two and a half years old. He’s growing like a weed as they say back home and his language continues to grow at a frightening (for me anyway) pace. He simply loves speaking in both English and Japanese.

Last Monday, I began work after a three-week holiday. During my holiday, I spent most of my time with my family. That of course meant that our house was pretty much an “English Zone.” Living in an English environment for almost a month was a great boost for my son’s language, but as with every vacation, it had to come to an end. Last Monday I started work again and it began with a six-day work-week for me.

Yesterday when I got home from work I took my son to the supermarket to buy some pancake mix. He babbled in English the entire way, curiously pointing t everything he saw and sharing a running dialogue about those things. “Look Daddy, blue car. Big red car. Pigeons are walking. Building is yellow. Look, leaves are green. Tree is tall.” I loved every minute of it.

After dinner last night, while he was playing with Lego I spent sometime showing him various flashcards. Most of them were animal flashcards, but some were also shapes. He is quickly learning them, but I plan to add flashcards to our daily routine more often. Again, I almost have to think about English as if I were a teacher (which I am). He doesn’t get exposed to much English on a day-to-day basis so I need to work hard to help him learn.

Last year I bought a few sets at the local English bookstore, but have realized that at my son’s pace of learning it would cost me a small fortune to continue buying them so I have begun to make flashcards for him. I have relied on some of the great free sites I use for teaching such as MES English and Sparklebox. I simply print the cards at home and I even bought a laminator so I can make them last for years. I think it was a worthy investment.

Some flash cards I bought at Junkudo Bookstore. He already knows about 85% of these so I have begun making them myself at home.

You can check out a video below of me showing some color flashcards to my son the other morning while he was playing. To be honest, he really enjoys playing with the flashcards. He sees them as a toy. I suppose that’s a good thing!

You can follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

An Explosion of Language

My son is now almost two and a half years old and recently has been speaking quite a bit. He says things at night like, “Daddy, go to bed?” “Daddy, boat coming!” “Kai, neh neh (baby talk for sleep in Japanese).” He also speaks a lot more in Japanese, his first language. His language has been progressing at a very surprising and exciting pace.

I started a three-week vacation about three weeks ago (sadly only one day left before I head back to school). I have been spending a great deal of time with my son during that period. Both my wife and I have noticed a sudden explosion of language in the last month and luckily I have been present to enjoy so much of it.

The amazing thing that has happened is he can now express his needs and wants in English and Japanese. He was able to tell us what he wanted Santa Claus to bring him for Christmas (Santa got him the TOMICA City parking garage set he so desired).

He can also use both his English and Japanese to play with Mom and Dad. The other day he walked up to me, placed some toy food on the table and said, “Daddy, eat this.” His favorite phrase in the past few days has been “Come here Daddy” which he has said at least thirty five thousand times!

I think my mind was really blown the other day when my son said, “Daddy, two boys going over there.” I looked up and sure enough, there were two young boys running across the street in front of us!

I realize that often children in Canada, where I am from, at my son’s age may be able to communicate more, but my son has to process twice the information. He doesn’t just have to learn the word “cat” for example. He must learn that Daddy says “cat” and Mommy says, “neko” (my wife is Japanese).

Language switching:

This is another impressive thing (in my eyes as a father) that amazes me. When I am alone with my son, he pretty much only speaks English. When he is with his mother, he pretty much only speaks Japanese, the language he can communicate more in. When we are together as a family, he mixes it all together and at this point, really only his mother knows exactly what he is saying.

I suppose that in the little world that is “my family”, we are going through some fun and exciting times.

As someone who was raised in a unilingual household, it is amazing to see someone raised bilingual. It’s like looking into a new world!

You can follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

Should I bother learning Japanese?

Recently, I have been writing some posts about raising my son to be bilingual. A lot of you out there have been interested in reading about this topic. Of course, everything I write are my own thoughts and opinions. Some of you out there may not agree with the methods we take in my house to make sure my son speaks both Japanese and English fluently, but you of course are entitled to your own opinions. I have my own and am pretty confident about them.

Now, what I have been thinking about lately is my own language development and how that will influence my son’s language.

My Japanese sucks! That is a very true statement.

I was in South Korea for about five years and now, I am coming up to that point in Japan. My Korean was MUCH better than my Japanese is.

Why is my Japanese so terrible? I am lazy. I can make a million other excuses: “I work in an international school and never hear Japanese throughout the day.” “I met my wife outside Japan and we have always communicated in English.” “”When I speak Japanese my left ear gets itchy.” “I’m really dumb!”  (The last two excuses are only partially true).

At the end of the day, I am a lazy guy. Well, I am not lazy in general. I work long hours. I work six days a week often. I produce TONS of online blog/vlog content. I run at least two full marathons a year. I just wrote a book about teaching. I am not lazy about life. I am lazy about learning languages.

At this point in my “Japan journey”…wait…not Japan journey…that makes it sound as if I am a traveler or someone passing through for a year or two to teach and then move back home.

I am pretty invested in Japan. My wife is Japanese and my son is half Japanese. My son was born in Kobe and I was there when it happened. I hope to leave Japan and start our life in Canada within the next couple of years, but even when we move to Canada, I will always have a foot in Japan. I will be coming back to visit my wife’s home, to visit my in-laws, to visit my son’s grandparents and aunt.

What am I getting to with all of this?

Language. Will my lack of Japanese skills work to my advantage as my son learns English? Will it make my life far more difficult?

I see both things happening.

Don’t get me wrong. I can speak some Japanese and understand a lot. I probably know as much Japanese as the average 2-3 year old Japanese child! Problem is, my son is now two and although he speaks Japanese often and I understand it, within the year his skill level will surpass mine.

Now, when my son speaks in Japanese, I just say “Ah yes.” And then rephrase what he just said in English. I am able to do that and it helps a lot. It is a great teaching tool. I never speak Japanese in front of him (he hears it all day from everyone else), but I understand what he says and then I help him say it in English.

Eventually I will have trouble doing that. What do I do when I am alone with my son and he wants/needs something and I don’t understand what he’s saying to me? That is a legitimate fear I have. When I think about that, I start thinking it is time to study again.

Then I hear what other foreign fathers in Japan have to say about the topic.

I have received advice from men who have been here far longer than I and both speak and do not speak Japanese.

Some fathers who speak little Japanese have told me that their kids speak English well because of that. Their children were forced to use English to communicate with their fathers. They knew they couldn’t use Japanese so were motivated to improve their English.

On the other hand, I have met some foreign fathers who speak fluent Japanese and said that it caused issues. Their kids knew that they spoke Japanese well and would understand everything they said in Japanese so never bothered to practice their English. The father’s Japanese skills made the kids lazy!

Where does this leave me? I dunno. I know I should improve my Japanese skills simply for myself. I would be happier here if I could communicate with others more effectively. I know I should...i know I must improve my japanese. That is a no brainer. 

BUT.....

As for my son’s Japanese/English language development…poses some interesting food for thought!

What are your thoughts?