Before you get yourself all worked up in a lather thinking another "complainer foreigner" is getting down on Japan, I want to STOP you! This is a tongue and cheek post. I like Japan a lot and am just having a little fun as I lay in bed, sick as a dog. Why not write a short little blog post on my iPhone as I hack and wheeze my brains out?
So, here we go. 10 things about Japan that drive me nuts!
1. Mini Food: Food portions at restaurants are too damn small! How am I supposed to be a stereotypical "fat cat" foreigner if servings at restaurants are all under 1000 calories? Get it together folks. I want massive amounts of greasy food everywhere I go. I am a Canadian after all!
2. Speaking Japanese: What's with everyone speaking Japanese everywhere I go? Come on people. Get with the program! English is the international language of commerce. Why isn't everyone speaking it here in Japan? I mean do you really expect me to learn some
Japanese if I live here in Japan? You gotta be kidding me?
3. Heated toilet seats! That's just by as fun as the shock when you sit on a cold toilet seat in the middle of a freezing winter's night. Toughen up people and lets get back to the cold toilet seats that once dominated the fecal landscape!
4. Lack of bland food! I'm from the East Coast of Canada and if it ain't boiled potatoes and boiled steak then it's just crap. Japanese food is delicious an chalked full of so many flavors. It's not fair. I want my food hard to chew and lacking taste!
5. Beautiful women everywhere: For the love of God, what's with all the hot women everywhere here in Japan? Don't they know they keep distracting me and causing me to lose my train of thought in mid.....
6. Cosplay! I hate Cosplay. How dare you take a bunch if young women, make them dress up in revealing fantasy type costumes and have them prance around in public! It's just cruel of you Japan.
So, here we go. 10 things about Japan that drive me nuts!
1. Mini Food: Food portions at restaurants are too damn small! How am I supposed to be a stereotypical "fat cat" foreigner if servings at restaurants are all under 1000 calories? Get it together folks. I want massive amounts of greasy food everywhere I go. I am a Canadian after all!
2. Speaking Japanese: What's with everyone speaking Japanese everywhere I go? Come on people. Get with the program! English is the international language of commerce. Why isn't everyone speaking it here in Japan? I mean do you really expect me to learn some
Japanese if I live here in Japan? You gotta be kidding me?
3. Heated toilet seats! That's just by as fun as the shock when you sit on a cold toilet seat in the middle of a freezing winter's night. Toughen up people and lets get back to the cold toilet seats that once dominated the fecal landscape!
4. Lack of bland food! I'm from the East Coast of Canada and if it ain't boiled potatoes and boiled steak then it's just crap. Japanese food is delicious an chalked full of so many flavors. It's not fair. I want my food hard to chew and lacking taste!
5. Beautiful women everywhere: For the love of God, what's with all the hot women everywhere here in Japan? Don't they know they keep distracting me and causing me to lose my train of thought in mid.....
6. Cosplay! I hate Cosplay. How dare you take a bunch if young women, make them dress up in revealing fantasy type costumes and have them prance around in public! It's just cruel of you Japan.
7. Earthquakes! Ok....no humor here. I really do hate them.
8. CC Lemon: A pop so delicious I want to drink it all the time. If I did drink it as much as I want to, all of my teeth would rot and fall out. I would only have Japan to blame. They created this beverage and would be responsible for Kevin's dentures at an early age.
8. CC Lemon: A pop so delicious I want to drink it all the time. If I did drink it as much as I want to, all of my teeth would rot and fall out. I would only have Japan to blame. They created this beverage and would be responsible for Kevin's dentures at an early age.
9. Did I mention all of the beautiful women?
10. Interesting lifestyles: The final thing I hate about Japan is that it's given me an interesting and exciting life. I was really counting on a boring and mundane existence, but oh no...oh no Japan!
Nuff said...
10. Interesting lifestyles: The final thing I hate about Japan is that it's given me an interesting and exciting life. I was really counting on a boring and mundane existence, but oh no...oh no Japan!
Nuff said...
You can follow me on Twitter @jlandkev
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