My train smells like ASS!

Nasty, Nasty Trains in Japan

So here's the deal. April 1st marked the new fiscal year in Japan. I live in Japan and recently changed jobs. I used to work relatively close to my house in Kobe and my commute was relatively painless. With the new fiscal year and the new job came a new commute. My new commute is a long one to the middle of Osaka and three train lines and about 90 minutes each way, I get from my house to work.

I've been spending a lot of time on a very crowded train this week and I've come to realize a few things:

1. The direction a train goes in can mean a lot to a poor ole commuter. I'm taking the same train I have for the last few years, but this time it's heading in a different direction. Last year, it was heading towards some small cities and wasn't very crowded. This year it's heading the Japan's third largest city, Osaka and its a freakin cattle call! Bloody packed with commuters.

2. The second thing I've come to notice had to do with number one. The trains are bloody packed with "salarymen" ( non-descript, black suit wearing office workers). They are so crowded that they lead to the next few observations I've had.

3. They stink! The trains simply smell bad. Pack a small metal box with hundreds of people and there is a very dynamic array of aromas. You can smell body odour, last night's (or this morning's) alcohol, garlic, pickles, farts and more!

4. They are HOT! Too many people combined with no understanding of climate control cause excessive suffering. Japanese trains kick the heat on near the end of winter and don't turn it off til spring has ended and summer has arrived. It really makes no sense and my advice is to not even attempt to figure it out. There is no answer!

My conclusion is:

Trains used to commute in the city are not fun. It's not a deep conclusion, but it's all I got!

10 Worst Things About Japan

Yesterday I brought you a post about the 10 best things about living in Japan in 2012…for me.

Today I bring you the 10 worst things about life for me in Japan in 2012.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, this is a tongue-in-cheek (that means humorous) post so if you get upset about it, you have full permission to close this browser window and never read my blog again! Again…full permission…please…don’t come back!

Ok, now on with the list. 10 Things that didn’t make me very happy about living in Japan in 2012:

1. Earthquakes: Does anyone really like these things? (That’s a rhetorical question)

2. Really crowded trains: I have to commute to work and there’s nothing more disgusting than having to wedge into a train that smells of body odor and in the mornings, old booze (no matter what day of the week).

3. Expensive beer: It costs a lot of money to buy the stuff at bars, restaurants and eateries.

4. People who live in tiny apartments yet have large dogs: It’s pretty common around where I live and it’s just mean. A Golden Retriever or Siberian Husky is meant to run in wide-open spaces, not live in a one or two room apartment in a big city. It’s just mean!

5. Subway Restaurants: Nice to have a little taste of home, but have you had one? They TOTALLY skimp on the meat. MORE MEAT PLEASE!

6. Only one-way to skin a cat: In English, the saying, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” of course means that there is always more than one-way to solve a problem. From my experience, for many in Japan there is only one way to skin a cat and if that doesn’t work…uh oh! No one seems to know what to do. Oh yes…they get stressed and panic!

7. Train pervs: So many of them in Japan and they all deserve to have their groping hands removed with a rusty butter knife!

8. Intentional pigeon-toed walking: A very common thing in Japan. Many high school aged girls and young women walk very pigeon toed (that’s when you walk with your toes pointing inwards). It looks strange, awkward and uncoordinated. Apparently, most do it on purpose because they think it looks cute.

9. YouTube Japan: I’ve been a YouTube partner since the early days. Once upon a day they supported all partners. Now they tell foreign partners straight up that they are no longer important…we don’t care about you and will not really help you!

10. I wasn’t “Lost in Translation”: Suppose I’ve been living in Asia too long for that. I do at times need a translator though! 

You can follow me on Twitter @jlandkev.

10 Best Things About Japan

As I look back at the year that was 2012, I want to reflect on the best and worst things about Japan, the country I have called home for the past 5 years. Today’s post will be the “10 Best” list while tomorrow’s will be the “10 Worst” list.

Message to all “hardcore” Japan fans out there…take these posts with a grain of salt!

1. Japanese food: It’s great. It’s really delicious!

2. Strong Yen (currency): At least in 2012 it was. That was good for me since I was paid in Yen!

3. Safe place to live: I know that every second joker isn’t carrying a gun!

4. SOOOO many weirdos: There really is a freaky amount of freaky people all over the place in Japanese cities. As a blogger and vlogger, that’s great for me! Free entertainment.

5. Beautiful women everywhere: I may be happily married, but I’m not dead!

6. Those beautiful women are “Pro Short Skirt”: Nuff said…

7. Smart phones still have unlimited data plans: Nuff said…

8. Treated well as a foreigner: As a Canadian living in Japan, I am treated quite well by most (sadly there are foreigners from many other countries who aren’t treated so well).

9. Fantastic history: Japan has a really fascinating history. I mean come on, these guys are the guys who brought us ninjas!!! That’s WAY cool!

10. Raising a family: As a parent in Japan, you have subsidized health care and good financial incentives and support from the government…for now.

Stay tuned tomorrow for my “10 Worst Things About Japan” list!

You can follow me on Twitter: @jlandkev

They made you eat poop?

Kids are funny. There is no other way to put it. Kids are funny because kids are honest. They are far more honest than you or I will ever be. They have yet to learn about social norms and boundaries. They have not yet learned that one might offend another or hurt another’s feelings by telling the truth sometimes.

Kids are innocent and kids are honest. Kids call it as they see it.

Here’s a story about that:

Asia Tube

Ok, here's the deal. Most of you know that I am a fairly "well known" You Tube video blogger. I now have more than 19,000 subscribers combined on my two channels. i spend a lot of time on You Tube (not so much these days with a busy work schedule) and I spend a lot of time interacting with and meeting other You Tube video bloggers.

My good friend Johnathan, aka "reynoldsair" on You Tube just stared a new series of videos called "Asia Tube." These are a hilarious "analysis" of videos by other You Tubers in Asia. His first two videos are awesome. The first was great. the second even better!

Here they are:

Soju Boy...You're Fired!

I spent more than five years living and working in South Korea. I left Korea several years ago, but of course have a lot of memories. With some of those memories go some good stories. This is a story about one teacher I knew who let Korea's famous and potent drink, soju 소주, get the best of him.



95% of teachers I met and worked with in Korea were great people. I did however cross paths with a few human train wrecks.


Follow me on TWITTER: @jlandkev

iPads for Sumo Wrestlers

I thought this was great. Two things I love....tech and Japan.



iPad the right fit for giant sumo wrestlers
TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan's ancient sport of sumo is embracing the latest high-tech, with its governing body set to distribute Apple's iPad to wrestlers who often struggle with smaller cellphone keypads due to their giant hands.

The sumo association said it will hand out iPads to Japan's 51 "stables," or the clubs the wrestlers belong to, with the aim of improving communication among the roly-poly grapplers after some in the past had missed information sent by fax or telephone.

"We will hand out the newest iPads to all the sumo stables to swiftly communicate what we need to," association vice chairman Hiroyoshi Murayama said.

The iPad tablet PC, which starts at 48,800 yen ($570) in Japan, was likely chosen because many stablemasters do not use computers and wrestlers are not good at punching in messages on their mobile phones with their big hands, Jiji news agency said.

Sumo is trying to overhaul its image after being rocked by a series of scandals including an illegal baseball gambling racket, assault and drug use. See original here

Snapshots and Drunk Men

I was flipping through the hundred of pictures I've taken over the last year and a half on my cell phones and was inspired to make a short video showing some of the more interesting ones.

Here it is:


Things have been really warming up in this neck of the woods. Today saw some temperatures around 10C and tomorrow is supposed to be 15C. I'm sure things will get a little cold in the near future though. I'm also sure it will be much colder in Tokyo at the end of the month when I head up there.

Here is a little something to give you a laugh. I actually read this story a few days ago, but wanted to share the joy.

Man arrested after applying for driver's license renewal while drunk
KANAGAWA - A 45-year-old man was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol on Thursday after he went to a police station to renew his driver’s license while drunk, police said Friday.

Susumu Moriya, an unemployed resident of Sagamihara City, went into Sagamihara Kita police station just before 9.30 a.m. Thursday to renew his license but could not understand the instructions given to him by an officer on how print out a form via the touch screen computers. The officer noticed the man’s breath smelled of alcohol and asked him how he came to the station. Moriya said he walked.

Another officer then tried to help but Moriya became out of control and threw his license on the ground. The officer asked him to go home, and saw Moriya get into a car in a parking lot outside and drive away. He was arrested for drunk driving about 200 meters from the station.

Moriya told police he had been drinking since about 6 a.m. and had consumed two cans of beer and several glasses of shochu. A breath test revealed he had 0.45 milligrams of alcohol in his breath per liter exhaled. Source, JapanToday

Random Kobe Stuff

I was just posting some pictures to Facebook and came across some odd signs I've spotted in Sannomiya. For anyone who has ever lived or traveled to Asia, bizarre signs are nothing new, but they are still always fun for me. Seven years in Asia and I still feel like a big kid every time I see one! A few times in the past when I've made posts like this, a few people have complained, "After being here for a few years I don't care about that!" I suppose for those crusty folks, their inner child has been stepped on!


This just doesn't seem like a good name for a restaurant. IIt doesn't make me want to come in. when I think of fine dining, ketchup normally isn't involved.



Is this a CSI bar??? Not extremely bizarre, but caught my attention nonetheless.



I suppose this could mean many things. My mind was in the gutter when I looked at it .....giggle, giggle.



Again, this just seemed like an odd thing! Bring your baby here to have needles inserted.

Perv tries to squeeze a cop!

There are a lot of perverts in Japan and that is no secret. Bizarre sexual stories are commonplace in local newspapers. I thought this one was particularly interesting sicne I spend a lot of time in Akashi which is a small city located a few kilometers from Kobe.

This is a tale of a very stupid pervert!


60-yr-old man arrested for trying to molest policewoman in front of police station
HYOGO —

A 60-year-old-man was arrested right in front of Akashi Police Station in Hyogo Prefecture on Wednesday night after he allegedly tried to fondle the breasts of a 47-year-old female police officer who was leaving her shift. The officer dodged Tamotsu Inaba’s wandering hands and dragged him into the police station, where he was charged with violating prefectural nuisance prevention laws.

Police quoted Inaba as saying that he “wanted to touch a woman.” The officer was dressed in street clothes at the time. Inaba told police he didn’t realize she was an officer or that he was in front of a police station. see original

On the sidelines

I suppose I finally have a chance to make another post. I am sitting at home on a Monday nursing a stomach virus. I had to go to the doctor this morning. As of recent, I have become somewhat of an expert on visiting Japanese doctors. I wish that wasn't the case. I'll be back at work tomorrow however, come hell or high water. One negative side is that I will miss my third Japanese class tonight. The third in 2 weeks, which means I will be completely lost again when I return on Thursday.


In non-Japanese/Kobe news:

South Korean woman passes driver's exam on 950th try
SEOUL, South Korea – A woman in South Korea who tried to pass the written exam for a driver's license with near-daily attempts since April 2005 has finally succeeded on her 950th time. The aspiring driver spent more than 5 million won ($4,200) in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points needed to get behind the wheel for a driving test.
Cha Sa-soon, 68, finally passed the written exam with a score of 60 on Wednesday, said Choi Young-chul, a police official at the drivers' license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul.
Police said Cha took the test hundreds of times, but had no specific total. Local media said she took the test 950 times.
Now she must pass a driving test before getting her license, Choi said.
Repeated calls to Cha seeking comment went unanswered. She told the Korea Times newspaper she needed the license for her vegetable-selling business. See original

I thought this one was funny. I did live in South Korea for quite some time and from time to time check the news from there.



I also thought this one was rather hilarious. It is a website completely dedicated to passed out drunk people in Korea! Please, allow yourself to be entertained. If you have ever had a night out with soju, you can understand how this might happen.

Breaking up in Japanese

This new collaboration video by some Japanese vloggers is hilarious!!!

The difference between Kanto and Kansai people!